LeoShinigami's Line Challenge
by Satanira
Summary: A collection of very short stories by various authors on GaiaOnline. Line challenges and stories from readers are appreciated. Review! DISCONTINUED!
1. Pranks

_Gundam Wing; Humor; PG_

_Line- 'I can't believe you actually used the rubber monkey'_

* * *

Pranks

_Amanosai_

Wufei Chang stood in the doorway to the kitchen, shocked out of his mind. He was covered in flour, water, eggs and feathers. All he had wanted had been a drink of water, was that too much to ask!

The perpetrator, one Duo Maxwell, was lying on the floor, rolling around and howling like a monkey. His laughter sounded remarkably like one as well, in Wufei's seriously pissed off opinion. He tried to control his breathing; after all, this was only an apartment. If they found a dead body in the walls of the kitchen, it would be quite expensive to keep people quiet. If they found the body, that was.

Trowa Barton edged around Wufei where he was still standing in the doorway and went to the fridge, moving to the side to avoid the projectile pancake batter that flew out when he opened the door. Wufei's cruel laughter filled the kitchen as Duo realized that he'd been splattered by his own back-up prank.

Trowa stuck his head into the fridge and pulled out a can of cola. He paused for a moment, looking around the kitchen at the trap that had been sprung upon Wufei. The can's lid popped open with a hiss of escaping carbon dioxide, as he looked down at the good humored Duo. Duo grinned up at the taller man, not in the least put out by the fact that he'd been hit with his own prank.

Trowa shook his head and took a sip of the drink before saying quietly; "I can't believe you actually used the rubber monkey." A small smile ghosted across his lips before he headed back out into the living room.

* * *

_Heehee..._


	2. the Challenge

_Sailor Moon; Humor; PG_

_Line- 'If wisdom grew on trees, you'd be a bush.'_

* * *

The Challenge

_Satanira_

Tsukino Usagi sat in the middle of the living room floor, large bits of metal and plastic scattered in a rough semi-circle in front of her. Her usually careless and clueless expression had been replaced by a small frown of concentration, and in her hand she held a small piece of paper.  
Sitting on the sofa not three feet away was Usagi's little brother, Shingo. He watched with evident amusement as Usagi's frown deepened.  
"C'mon, nee-chan," Shingo taunted. "I thought you were good at this!"  
"Leave me alone, you little ameoba." Usagi snapped distractedly, her attention shifting from the paper to the pieces in front of her. "I'll figure it out, just you wait. Then you'll be sorry..."  
"Sure I will." Shingo agreed sarcastically, rolling his eyes.  
Putting the paper down, Usagi selected two pieces of metal from the six provided and very, very slowly attached them. With a faint click, they connected, and she chose a third, which also fit.  
"I think I've got it now," She muttered, snagging one of the plastic pieces. "I'm gonna make you wish you'd never challenged me, ya monkey."  
Unfortunately, the plastic piece refused to fit, no matter where she tried.  
"Looks like you spoke to soon, nee-chan." Shingo said, grinning openly at his older sister's discomfort. "Sure you don't want some help?"  
"Positive, Shin-rii." Usagi snapped, using her despised nickname for the little worm on the sofa.  
"Don't call me Shin-rii!" Shingo yelled, just as Usagi was sure he would.  
Her need for revenge satisfied, Usagi went back to her puzzle and completed it in short order.  
"You must have cheated." Shingo stated flatly, staring in disbelief at the completed model. "There's no way a meatball head like you could have finished it that fast."  
"If wisdom grew on trees, you would be a bush." Usagi teased, smiling smugly. "Anything is possible, with the right motivation. Now, little brother, I believe you owe me two cheeseburgers and a root beer float."fun to play with Duo's mind.

* * *

_This was my first try. I know; it sucks. Amanosai puts me to shame._


	3. the Visitor

_Gundam Wing; Humor; PG_

_Line- 'I could have sworn I threw you out a window yesterday...'_

* * *

the Visitor

_Amanosai_

"I could have sworn I threw you out a window yesterday..." Duo blinked, staring at her as she curled up in his bed. She smirked at him, a sugestive glint in her eye. Duo noticed almost immediately, and sat down next to her on top of the bed spread.

"I don't understand why you keep coming back. Haven't I made myself perfectly clear?" He asked, watching as she reached up to carress his cheek, then licked his neck in a sultry fashion.

"Well, I'll tell you again. I don't want you around. You'll just get in the way." Her touches and kisses became slightly pleading as she reached lower, trying to stimulate a physical response. Duo sighed with exasperation, and grabbing her by the scruff of her neck, threw her out the open window. She landed in the street just outside with a yowl, and ran off with a hurt and spiteful parting look.

"Hey Trowa!" Duo yelled, knowing that the other brunette would be able to hear him through the thin apartment walls. "Stop leaving my window open! That orange cat keeps getting into my room!"

* * *

_Amanosai is one of my favorite authors! He's hilarious!_


	4. Happy Birthday

_Gundam Wing; Humor; PG_

_Lines- 'I'm surprised he didn't kill you for that one.' and 'Well, I certainly didn't invite her over!'_

* * *

Happy Birthday

_GhostWhisper_

"Happy Birthday Heero!" Duo slung an arm around the Japanese pilot's shoulder, ignoring the growl it got him. Day's like these needed to be celebrated - and the fact that even Heero didn't know what day his birthday was, wasn't going to put Duo off. He'd taken it upon himself to appoint a day, and organize a surprise party.

"You did a great job Duo," Quatre told him, smiling slightly. Beside him, Trowa sent a nod, and Wufei crossed his arms, giving his grudging agreement. Duo grinned widely in satisfaction - he had done a good job - and maybe Heero didn't show it, but he was certain that his buddy would someday come to appreciate the gesture. Even if right now, he seemed to be pulling out his laptop and plugging it in...

Time for a distraction.

"Bring out the cake!" he shouted to the kitchen. A moment later, a large cake was wheeled into the room. Funny though - Duo could have sworn that he'd ordered a much smaller cake...

Before any of them could react, the top of the cake was pushed open, revealing it to be cardboard. A female figure wove her way out clad in a pale pink bikini. She danced languidly, with the sultry smile on her face sent in Heero's direction. "Happy Brithday Heero," she whispered...

Hours later, when the destruction had died down, Quatre sent a look in his direction. "I'm surprised he didn't kill you for that one," the blonde commented.

Duo sent him a wide-eyed innocent look - one that just happened to be true, in this case. "Well I certainly didn't invite her over!"


	5. Risk

_Rorouni Kenshin; Humor; PG_

_Line-'No thanks; I like having all my limbs.'_

_

* * *

_

Risk

_Amanosai_

"Should we tell her?" Sanosuke stage whispered to Yahiko, only speaking now that Koaru's back was turned.  
"No thanks; I like having all my limbs." He muttered in return, eyeing the purple-haired young woman as she continued to stir the stew.  
"Well, someone has to tell her." Sanosuke growled back.  
"Not me! She'll kill me!" Yahiko glared at the taller man.  
"You're closer to her than I am. And you've known her longer." Sanosuke countered, as though it made clear who was going to have to break the news to Koaru... and then be broken.  
"But you're suposed to be the big brave fighter!" He grumbled, crossing his arms stubbornly. Sanosuke sighed.  
"Together?"  
"Alright, together." Yahiko agreed, and both of them stood up. Koaru hummed to herself as she stirred slowly, keeping the food from sticking to the bottom.  
"Ah, Koaru? There's, uh, something you should know..." Yahiko coughed, staring at Sanosuke.  
"Listen missy, it's, ah, about Kenshin." Koaru sat up straight.  
"Is he okay? Did something happen to him?" She demanded, thinking of anything and everything that could've gone wrong.  
"No, no Kenshin's fine. It's just that, uh, while he was doing the laundry... he, uh... He ripped some clothes without realising it. In, uh, bad places." Yahiko trailed off, ready to head for the hills as the realization hit Koaru and she felt the bottom of her yukata. Her eyes grew dark and a storm cloud seemed to apear over her head as she calmly walked towards the back yard where Kenshin was folding laundry.  
"Do you think he'll survive?" Sanosuke asked, watching Koaru turn the corner. Yahiko shook his head and took a slurp of the stew.  
"Not a chance."

* * *

_I love this one; it would totally fit anywhere in the series!_


	6. a Most Deadly Opponent

_unknown; Humor/Satire; PG_

_Line- 'That's the only time I've ever pushed a woman out of a tree.'_

* * *

a Most Deadly Opponent

Her long, glossy, midnight-black hair shimmered in the low light of the lamps as she walked towards the poor defenseless elf. Haldir of Lothlorien was now facing his greatest foe yet; a Mary Sue self-insert.

"Haldir, my one true love, will you not take me in your arms and sing to me all through this lovely night?" She asked him in a very soft voice. So soft, in fact, that he would have had trouble hearing her if he didn't have uncanny hearing.

"Nay, I dare not even touch you, foul creature that you are! Away with you, before I am forced to put an arrow through your heart." Haldir did not like to kill women, and though this thing was not truly real, it's countanace was so similar to a real woman that it stayed his hand. For now.

"But, my love, how can you say such a thing to me? You saved me from a whole bunch orcs, don't you remember? You promised to protect me and love me forever!" The creature insisted, it's strange way of speaking almost lost to Haldir. However, never let it be said that the marchwarden of Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel was not quick in thought and actions.

"You are right, beloved." He lied. "How could I forget, even for a moment, the love that I feel for you in my heart?" He proclaimed, almost shuddering when he forced himself to take the creature delicately by the arm and leading her to the edge of the tree top platform. And quickly pushing her over the edge and down to the ground.

"My brother! A fair woman just fell from here, yet her body disappeared before it touched the ground! What had happened here, ere I came?" Orophin asked his brother, rising effortlessly up onto the platform where Haldir was trying to catch his breath.

"Another of the lothesome and pitiful creatures, fair in countanace and fell in deeds and thoughts. That's the only time I've ever pushed a woman out of a tree. It troubles my heart." He replied, and Orophin held his brother while he wept in pity for the poor souls who could not be happy with reality.

* * *

_I love Amanosai!_


	7. Pixi Stix

_BeyBlade; Humor; PG_

_Line- 'That's it! No Pixi Stix for you!'

* * *

_

PixiStix

_MerwitchMarill_

_Great. Stuck we're stuck in the car with Max... _

"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy..." repeated the hyper-active blonde, nearly bouncing in his seat.

"Relax Max! God, I'm going to kill youy myself..." said Kai, glaring at the youngest of the group. Kai turned back to watch the scenery of the highway, which wasn't much, passby. Suddenly a scream from Hilary made everyone turn in there seats to see what was going on.

Hilary had a mixture of hyper-ventilating and sobbing. "I can't believe you!"

Her head-phones had been split in half, and by the looks of it Hilary wasn't going to forgive him anytime soon.

"That's it! No Pixi Stix for you!"

Max face drained of all color. Tyson seemed to be dying of laughter and Rei looked as if he would jump ou t the window at any given moment.

_Yep, just another trip with the Bladebreakers.

* * *

_

Merwitch only submitted one piece, but it's hilarious, huh?


	8. Smirking

_Harry Potter; Humor; PG_

_Line- 'You think you're so high and mighty, Potter, just because you're a snowman. Just wait for summer!'_

* * *

Smirking

_Viper S._

He was smirking.

Smirking that moronic smirk of his, with his stupid glasses, and his stupid hair. And he -dared- to smirk at him.

Yes, needless to say, Severus Snape of Slytherin house, master of potions and the Dark Arts was royally peeved. He had not worked harder then anyone else at this godforsaken school for eight years of his life just to be teased, riddiculed, emarrassed, harrassed, and smirked at by this... this... mindless, mudblood-loving, ruffien and his pathetic, weak-minded band of worthless scum he called his 'friends'. Pah.

So there he stood, in all his Gryffindork glory, all decked out in the full red and gold ensomble, with even a poorly made flag clutched in his hand. If nothing else enfuriated Severus, this did. This, mindless and pointless arrogance. This undeserved glory. This pure idiocy. It was enough to drive a man to madness.

And he was laughing. He made no noise, but his eyes gloated from behind the wire frames and his smirk laughed at him.

Slowly Severus stepped up to this pathetic excuse for a wizard, until they were but a breath apart. And still he did not loose his enfuriating smirk, practically radiating simple-minded cockiess.

"You think you're all high and mighty, Potter," He snareled. "Just because you're a snowman. Just wait for summer!"

A little ways away, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew (James Potter could not for the loss of his glasses) looked on in a strange kind of reverence at the scene that was unfolding before them.

Remus slowly turned to look at Peter, "I was wondering why you wanted James' glasses..."

* * *

_Viper wasn't very active, but she's a very good author, isn't she?_


	9. Dignity

_Gundam Wing; Drama; PG-13_

_Line- 'I'd just like to thank you. I wouldn't have lost my dignity without you.'_

* * *

Dignity

_Amanosai_

Relena drew back her hand, then slapped Duo Maxwell as hard as she was able. Duo stumbled backwards, disoriented and suprised. Relena's face was tear streaked and her hair has come out of it's professional yet stylish bun.

"Miss Relena, I'm sure that Duo-" Quatre's plea for his friend was silenced by a forceful hand gesture from Ms. Dorlin herself, and she drew herself up as tall as she could, despite the fact that one of her broken high heels had twisted her ankle and her dress was torn beyond repair.

She walked towards Duo, tripping only twice on the dragging hem, and waited until he looked her in the eyes. "I invited you to this party out of friendship and respect. I asked if you would bring a present for one of my closest childhood friends." Duo looked over her shoulder at poor Bridgette, who was sitting in another girls arms, sobbing.

"You brought a box filled with live mice." Duo looked back at Relena, but couldn't bring himself to look at her, and instead looked down and to the side, into space.

"Duo. I'd just like to thank you. I wouldn't have lost my dignity without you." She said, cold and cutting. The room was deadly silent as Relena limped in pain over to Bridgette to make sure that the bite had stopped bleeding.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Duo said plaintively, looking guilty and feeling very bad for what he'd done. Relena looked at him, her utter disgust and shock showing clearly. "I... I didn't mean for things to go the way they did." He smiled nervously and shrugged.

Relena shook her head in disbelief, and Quatre resisted the urge to drop his face into his hands. Relena turned away from him and turned her attention to the crowd. "I'm very sorry about all this. I hope you don't mind that the party has to end like this. Please excuse us." Relena helped Bridgette up and led her to the bathroom as the guests began to leave, muttering.

Duo made his way over to Quatre, aware of the looks being sent at him. Quatre stared at him, and Duo felt like a child who'd broken a promise and let down his parents. He waited for Quatre to say something, to stop staring at him like that, to move, or something. Anything but that look of total disapointment.

"Let's get out of here Duo." He finally said, sighing and shaking his head as they both walked towards the door. Duo paused at the doorway and looked back. Heero leaned against the far wall, watching him. One of the mice he'd stomped on was in his hand. Duo turned and left.

* * *

_Another thing I like about Amanosai; he can do drama just as well as humor._


	10. Insert Sorry Excuse for Title Here

_Gundam Wing;Drama/Angst; PG-13_

_Line- 'Stop that, or I'll disown you.'_

* * *

Insert Sorry Excuse for Title Here

_ChibiScythe_

Duo Maxwell stared at the gun in his hands. it was so small, so simple: you pull the little lever, and a piece of fire hot metal shoots out of it. he chuckled softly, turning the weapon over in his hands.  
"I can't believe I'm even considering this..." he muttered, shaking his head. "I'm such a moron." his surprisingly steady hands deposited the gun on his nightstand, and he got to his feet gracefully.  
"Duo?" He looked to his bedroom door and plastered his smile on.  
"Yo! C'mon in, Q!" he called. the door swung open, and all four of his fellow pilots entered his room. "Oh..We. Havin a meeting or something?" he plopped onto his bed, getting ready to talk. nobody said anything. "Oookay... so, how bout them giants? anybody else watch the cartoon network this morning?"  
"Stop that, or I'll disown you." Quatre's sad voice made him pause, and he quirked an eyebrow.  
"What?" he questioned, doing a very good job at looking and sounding confused.  
"You're a part of our family, Duo, so...Damnit! Don't hide from us." Trowa was glaring at him now, though it was tinged with worry. "If there's something wrong...let us know." Heero sat next to him on the bed, placing a hand on his shoulder.  
"You try so hard to get us to open up, but you're hiding in your mind, behind a stone fortress... your defense is joking and laughing, and it works well for people who don't know you, but we do. we know it's not you, and it kills us every time you force a smile or hurt yourself to make us laugh. so stop." his blue eyes glinted, and Duo looked at his friends.  
"You don't understand..." he trailed off, and Wufei enveloped him in a hug.  
"We do. every man has scars and a past, Duo. Even us. Let us help you." a single tear escaped Duo's indigo eyes, and he pushed his asian comerades away, grabbing the gun from his nightstand without them seeing.  
"You'll never understand." he lifted the shiny metal to his temple, frowning at the horrified looks on the four men's faces. "Nobody can understand." his tears were flowing freely as he looked at them. "please...forgive me..."  
Quatre's scream of horror drowned out the sound of the gun, and masked the wet thump from Duo hitting the floor.  
"Duo." Trowa breathed. Quatre collapsed to his knees, crying silently, his hands hovering over Duo's body. Heero sunk to the floor, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. his blue eyes were wide with shock, and his mouth open. Wufei simply stared at his fallen friend, an odd emotion lurking in the depths of his eyes.  
"Coward." he whispered. three angry glares were directed at him.  
"Bastard!" Quatre growled, standing.  
"Unsensitive asshole!" trowa snarled, advancing on him.  
"You fucking prick! how could you say that about him?" Heero screamed, grabbing Wufei by his collar and slamming him against the wall.  
"He chose a coward's path! he took the easy way out!" Wufei screamed back, his eyes flashing.  
"Stop!" a voice from the doorway cried. all four of them turned their heads at once to see Sally standing there, looking stricken. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she demanded, knocking Wufei from Heero's grasp. "Duo is dead! Do any of you understand that? he's barely pulled the trigger, and you all are already acting like animals! You're throwing away everything he worked for!" she stared at each of them for a long moment, her eyes shadowed before she crouched and lifted Duo's body up, straining slightly. "You sicken me." she walked out of the room silently, not turning back once.  
a few minutes later, a car roared to life, and four men were left standing in their dead comerade's bloody room, trying to understand the magnitude of what they had just lost.

* * *

_I really don't like this one... You would know ChibiScythe better as ImmortalPain._


	11. Cake

_Saiyuki; Humor; PG_

_Line- 'It's the penguin's doing, isn't it?'

* * *

_

Cake

_DuosAngel_

Gojyo walked into his kitchen, his thoughts on the cake Hakkai had made the day before. He was positive that there was a piece left and he had every intention of eating it. The half breed got out a plate and fork then went to the refrigerator and opened it. He didn't see any cake. But if Gojyo had learned anything in his life it was that first impressions could be misleading. He looked on all the shelves, no cake. He looked in the freezer, no cake. There was only one thing left to do. Gojyo screamed.

Hakkai had been sitting quietly in the living room when he heard Gojyo's scream. Assuming the worst he jumped off the couch and ran to the kitchen, book forgotten.

"What's wrong?" The demon asked.

"The cake! The cake is gone!" Hakkai stared at his roommate dumfounded.

"You're screaming because the cake is gone?"

"It was here last night where could it have gone?" Gojyo turned around with a look of horror. "It's the penguin's doing, isn't it?" Now Hakkai was looking at the half breed as if he had lost his mind.

"Penguin?" He asked positive that this was some form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

"Yes! The Penguin that lives in the fridge. He stole my cake!" Now Hakkai knew that Gojyo was crazy.

"Ok Gojyo I think maybe you better go lay down for a bit."

"I can't. I have to get the penguin out of the fridge before it steals anything else."

"Gojyo, it is impossible for a penguin to be living in our refrigerator." Hakkai said calmly.

"But there is a penguin living in the fridge. I've seen it."

"Maybe you have Gojyo but I'm telling you there is no penguin in-" Hakkai stopped mid sentence as a small penguin climbed out of the refrigerator.

"There you are!" Gojyo cried. "Give me back my cake you little bastard!"

Hakkai calmly walked back into the living room and picked up his book. As strange as seeing a penguin climb out of your refrigerator might be, Hakkai had seen stranger things.

* * *

_You have to admit that was funny, even if you have no idea who these people are. This was DuosAngel's first story on the project, and I hope he becomes a regular!_


	12. Lunchtime

_Original; Humor; PG_

_Line- 'Drop the ramen and no one gets hurt!' _

_- 'But if I drop the ramen, it'll be all over the ground, and you won't be able to eat it, either.' _

_- 'You shut up with your fuzzy math logic!'

* * *

_

Lunchtime!

_Satanira_

"I are hungry." WingScythe complained, rubbing her stomach with one hand. "I wonder if there's any ramen left..." She paused smiled at the thought of a steaming bowl of beef ramen. "I'll just finish up this little bit of code, then I'll eat." She promised her rumbling tummy.  
With the thought of food to spur her on, the blond quickly wrapped up the fold-out menu code, saved the file, and all but flew into the kitchen.  
"Ramen!" She exclaimed happily, finding one last cup of instant ramen on the pantry shelf.  
Two cups of water in the microwave for five minutes and two minutes of letting the noddles soak later, she finally had her lunch. Holding the styrofoam cup as if it were the Grail itself, she walked slowly back to the computer.  
Not twenty seconds later, black hair flying behind her like a banner, ChibiScythe charged into the living room, fire in her dual-colored eyes.  
"Drop the ramen and no one gets hurt." The shorter girl said, leveling a pair of chopsticks at her older sister. "Now."  
"But if I drop the ramen, it'll be all over the ground, and you won't be able to eat it, either." Wingscythe protested, hugging the warm cup to her chest.  
"You shut up with your fuzzy math logic!" Chibi screamed, lunging and Wing and the precious ramen.

"See?" WingScythe told her sister, smacking the back of Chibi's head one last time. "Now the last cup of ramen in the house is all over the floor, and no one gets to eat it."  
"Shut up." ChibiScythe grumbled, rubbing her bruised noggin and pouting. "You shoulda given me the ramen when I said."  
Wing started to reply, but was interrupted by Hell walking into the living room, holding a cup of instant ramen.

* * *

_Freaky, yes? My screenname on Gaia is WingScythe, and my little sister's is ChibiScythe. We didn't do it on purpose, but now our last name is Scythe. I'm Wing, and she's Chibi._


	13. Mister Ellie

_Gundam Wing; General; PG_

_Line- 'The fridge is not a place one usually finds an elephant.'

* * *

_

Mister Ellie

_Amanosai_

Relena sat on the floor, her lovely frilly pink dress crumpled underneath her diaper. Young Millardo didn't know how to make his little sister stop crying. He couldn't even understand what she was saying.

'Maybe if I shake her she'll stop,' He thought to himself, and as he was about to grab Relena's shoulders and give her little pink body the shaking of a lifetime, Celeste walked in. Millardo stopped in his tracks, because Mother always told him not to shake Relena. If Celeste found out what he was about to do, he could get in trouble.

"Vat is dis?" Celeste asked in her strange Frenc accent. Millardo started to answer her that he wasn't doing anything, and certainly wasn't about to shake Relena, when Celeste reached over his head and picked up little baby Relena.

"Ohh, zare, zare, pumpkin! Vie are yoo cry-ing?" She cuddled Relena to her chest, and Millardo was happy that Relena's voice was lost in the thick material of Celeste's uniform.

After a few hiccups, Relena managed to whisper haltingly a short explaination. Millardo couldn't hear, and so grabbed Celeste's uniform and gave the dress a sharp tug or two.

"What did she say? Why's she crying?" Millardo asked rudely. After all, this wasn't his mother, and his father wasn't around. Celeste pushed a curl of her blonde hair out of her eyes and into Relena's mouth.

"Mizz Reelenah says zat she cannot find Miztur Ellie. Do yoo know oo dis is?" She asked, shifting from one foot to the other as Relena started to choke on Celeste's hair. Millardo motioned for Celeste to bend over, and successfully freed the clump of hair without the French nursemaid knowing, and let it hang so that when she stood it would fall against her ear.

"Mister Ellie is Relena's elephant. You go look for him." Millardo ordered, and the nursemaid sat Relena down again. As she stood, the hair didn't fall as planned. But Millardo knew that by the end of the day she would notice it. Millardo looked down at the bundle of gasping little sister, and wished he still had an excuse to see what would happen when he shook her.

Celeste came back a half hour later to find Millardo and Relena having a staring contest. "Well," She said, finally dropping the fake French accent. "The fridge is not a place one usually finds an elephant." She said, showing that, even though she didn't know how to take care of kids, she hadn't earned that degree in English Arts for nothing.

She dropped the worn and stuffed elephant in between the starers, and watched as Relena reached forward without batting an eye and pulled Ellie to her. "Zoz two," She said, falling back into her alias. "Are go-ing to be like ziz for ze rest of daire lives. 'Owever long dat iz." She muttered to herself, reminding her that she had only and limited amount of time to leave before the Oz Specials dropped the bombs on the Sanq Kingdom.

* * *

_Amanosaisays he's not very good. I say we group-glomp him._


	14. Psycology

_Gundam Wing; Humor; PG-13_

_Line- 'The idea of you breeding frightens and disturbs me.'

* * *

_

Psycology

_Amanosai_

Duo flopped down on the couch hard, giving a half-hearted "Ouch." when his elbow hit the wooden arm rather hard. Wufei looked over the top of his book, then set it aside along with his reading glasses.

"What happened?" Duo looked up at Wufei, suprised.

"What're you talking about?" Wufei raised one thin eyebrow in mild disbelief, and Duo sighed in exasperation. "Was it that obvious?"

Wufei sat up straight and fixed the bookmark more securely in place. "When you don't come in and try to hug me, flop down on the couch, don't even look at the injured spot to see if you have a bruise, or even ask what I was reading, I'd say something might maybe be wrong."

Duo nodded in agreement. "That," Wufei added. "And the fact that you moved out of this appartment two months ago to go live with Hilde, I'd say that, yes, it was fairly obvious."

Duo cringed sheepishly and scratched his head. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He became serious, suddenly having an intense interest in a ketchup stain on the carpet. "Well, it's just that, Hilde and I were talking about a few things and I... I just don't know. I mean, we're not legally adults yet, so I still have time to get used to the idea, but..."

Wufei blinked slowly, then sighed and slumped backwards in his overstuffed armchair. "She wants to get married." Duo nodded, and Wufei rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I can't say that the idea doesn't have some appeal, it's just that, the way I was raised, divorce would never be an option for me. If we're together, we're together for life. 'Til death do us part. The whole nine yards. I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of commitment when I've just turned eighteen."

Again, the eyebrow raised and Wufei sat forward. "You piloted a giant metal machine of mass destruction, risked your life dozens of times, faced down the very end of all life on Earth as we'd known it, and you're afraid of being with Hilde for the rest of your life?"

Duo laughed. "Well, don't put it like that! Makes me sound like I've lost my nerve."

"Trust me, you still have another two years before you have to make that kind of decision. If you both find out that you don't like living together during that time, there's no engagement, and you can still stay friends." Wufei advised, and Duo nodded, taking in the reasuring logic.

"Thanks Wufei, I knew there was a reason I came to talk to you instead of Trowa." Duo stood up and watched the eyebrow soar to new heights as a smile finally cracked Wufei's lips.

"You're an idiot. Just promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"That you'll wait until the honeymoon."

Duo's face twisted into an interesting combination of bafflement, suprise and embaressment. "What!"

Wufei shrugged as he led Duo to the door. "The idea of you breeding frightens and disturbs me." He admitted before closing the door in Duo's face. He sighed once again, letting go of the grin he'd been holding back as he went back to his book on human psychology. It was so much fun to play with Duo's mind.

* * *

_'Sai-sempai's awesome. That was just so Wufei-ish!_


	15. Surprise

_Gundam Wing; Humor; PG_

_Line- 'The fridge is not a place one usually finds an elephant.'

* * *

_

Surprise!

_Satanira_

"All right kid," Doctor J said. "Time for a break."  
The nameless child in the flight simulator nodded wordlessly, removing the helmet J had made especially to fit his small head.  
He packed the helmet away, careful of the wires, and climbed down to the concrete floor of the large hangar where he'd spent most of the past year or so. He waited for further instructions without fidgiting, his Prussian blue eyes boring into the elderly scientist who took care of him.  
Supposedly.  
"Go make me a sandwich, will you?" J asked, not looking away from the computer bank in front of him.  
The child nodded, still without speaking, and turned towards the small kitchenette on the other side of the room.  
"And put some mayo on it this time!" J yelled after him.

Kirk, an engineer who'd worked for J off and on over the years, was lounging in the closed-off corner of the hangar designated for food, a pizza box and bottle of beer on the table in front of him.  
"Hey, kid." He greeted the boy. It had bothered Kirk that the child had no name at first, but he was used to it now. "J finally get hungry?"  
The boy nodded, standing on his toes to reach the stack of plates on the back of the counter.  
"Do we have any mayo?" He asked Kirk, grabbing a knife on his way past the silverware drawer. He set dish and flatware in a clean corner of the floor, since he was a little too short to use the counter, then walked to the fridge and yanked it open.  
"I think so," Kirk answered, taking a bite of his pizza. "Should be on the bottom shelf, on the door."  
The boy mumbled a thanks, rooting through the contents of the middle shelf for an unsquashed loaf of bread. He had just spotted one when something fuzzy and blue caught his eye. It looked kind of like mold, and it was sticking out of the vegetable crisper...  
Cautiously, the boy pulled the drawer open. He didn't find mold in there, but what he did find was a bit... silly.  
So silly, in fact, that Doctor J's nameless guinea pig, known for never showing any emotion whatsoever, burst out laughing.  
"Uh-oh." Kirk said, smiling to himself. "The world's about to end. A laugh is not a sound one usually hears from you, kid."  
"Well," The nameless child answered, calming himself down, "the fridge is not a place one normally finds an elephant."  
He pulled the blue stuffed animal out of the vegetable crisper and solemnly held it up for Kirk to see, then started laughing again.  
"Hey, what's with all the laughing in here?" J demanded, shoving open the swinging door to the kitchenette. "Kid, where's my- _my elephant!_" J exclaimed, snatching the toy from the child and wandering out of the room, stroking its fuzzy blue hide and cooing.

* * *

_I love the thought of J cooing over a fuzzy blue elephant... I saw it in a dream and had to write it... Wow, I have weird sources of inspiration..._

_Hey, here's a challenge for you guys! Who can write a fic with this line: 'Get out of the refridgerator, nee-chan; I have to put these groceries away.' Think you can do it? Go ahead and e-mail it to me if you do!_


End file.
